I'm Alive!

Hard to believe it will be July come this Sunday and I haven't posted a blog since April.  I have so many things I want to write about and I will slowly.  My last post was April 26th if anyone is still out there in the world wide web that possibly still keeps up with me.  Right after I posted that delicious taco soup recipe we received devastating news that my Pa Roland had passed away.  May 1st to be exact and honestly I felt like what is left of my heart from losing my dad and my "aunt" Melinda had been ripped right out of my body onto the cold tile floor.  I'm not sure I even took a breath for a few minutes.

I still don't feel completely ready to even talk about it.  We buried my Pa a year to the day that my dad died and don't think I didn't think about that every single second as the pastor talked about the great legacy my Pa had left.  He truly was legendary.  Amazing man, father, farmer, and friend.  He was one of the greatest men (next to my daddy) that I learned a lot about life from in my short 32 years.  I didn't know my own grandfathers and had it not been for Pa I would not have had one at all.  I am so blessed to have had great male influences in my life.   My cousin Jera (Pa's 1st actual granddaughter) said it best "embrace this moment, just be in this moment right here and right now".  And when I did that I made it fine in the service (with a lot of tears) but I made it.  Thanks JB.

I'm not sure I will ever be the same after this past year.  Probably not.  I have a lot of grief to overcome.  We all do in my family right now and unfortunately we all grieve differently.  I'm not even sure we have talked very much about everything that's happened.  Some days I think about what's happened and all the loss to the point of not being able to breath again and wanting the Lord to just please come back.  Other days I remember the good things.  Praise Him the good always out weighs the bad. 

Sorry for the damper first post back, but life has been sort of blah lately.  I hope to blog more regularly and I think it will help me heal or at least patch up the cracks left by 3 wonderful people.

On one last high note here is some of the things we have been up to that are fun:

1.  Celebrated my sweet honey and his dad's birthdays complete with the Avengers tablecloth.

2.  Celebrated my mom on mothers day.  Gave her a collage of pictures from life with my dad and she cried.  It was awesome.

3.  Attended the Hawkins family reunion at the actual Hawkins Hollow. 

4.  Spent a couple of days in NW Arkansas after the reunion which was the most relaxing thing I've done in forever.

5.  Our nieces, my sister, and my mom were all there at the same time for Pitch for the Cure.  So we had dinner together, found the Duggar's home, and longed to watch a movie at the Drive-In theater there in Fayetteville.  So fun!

6.  Took the long road home from Fayetteville with a slight detour in Arkansas' wine country.  It is really beautiful if you've never seen that area (Altus).

7.  Celebrated two more family birthdays (I'm always belated on getting gifts to them).  Sorry!

8.  Celebrated my father in law on Fathers Day.  We got him a Kindle Fire and I seriously think we did a great thing.  I think he loves it.

9.  Swimming!

10.  Hot Air Balloon Festival.  By far one of the coolest things I've ever attended and I want to go again!  Fun Fun Fun!